


What's the Point of Love?

by AGRey701000



Series: Love & Hate: An Alternate Fic to IICBETY [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Super Sons (Comics)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Cheating, Conspiracy, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Violence, Double Agent action, Drama & Romance, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Happy Ending, Extramarital Affairs, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Love Triangles, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Non-Explicit Sex, Obsession, Psychological Trauma, Self-Esteem Issues, Underhanded deeds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27214327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGRey701000/pseuds/AGRey701000
Summary: Part 2 to ATLbL&H, this is an alternate ending...continuation...midsection of IAmWhelmed's story! Enjoy!After they 'make-up', that's when the work starts but...what happens when Cain forces his hand yet again but in a far more sinister way? The sudden realization that Damian never had control over anything in this arranged marriage is becoming all too horribly clear. And will Jon be able to overcome his inner demons in order to be the man Damian needs and deserves? And will they be able to rebuild what they thought lost despite all the odds against them?
Relationships: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent/Damian Wayne
Series: Love & Hate: An Alternate Fic to IICBETY [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986910
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. Tell Me the Truth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IAmWhelmed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmWhelmed/gifts).



**DO NOT REPOST. DO NOT EDIT. DO NOT REBLOG.**

**Disclaimer** : I DO NOT OWN THE DC FRANCHISE OR ANY AFFILIATES.

 **Disclaimer** : OC Cain Barnett **©** IAmWhelmed

**Copyright © 2020 Antonia G. Reyes All Rights Reserved.**

**Trigger Warning** : Internalized Homophobia, References to hate crimes, murder, trauma, overall pretty depressive subject matter

^^^^^^^^^^^

**Chapter 1** : Tell Me the Truth

“I know I already said it Dami but _really—_ shower sex is the best kind of sex, SERIOUSLY.”

Damian snorted next to Jon as they snuggled half-clothed and clean. “ _Oh yes_ , you would know that because you’ve engaged _sooo_ regularly in intercourse.”

Jon laughed spritely with an underlining tinge of regret. It wasn’t obvious but the silence that followed spoke volumes. Damian nuzzled and tenderly traced his fingers along Jon’s clavicle, eliciting a giggle, which made them both smile.

Gazing into cosmic emerald eyes, seeing so much love it made his heart pulsate erratically. He should be languishing in the moment, not internally berating himself over his incredibly idiotic, past decisions.

Yet, that’s all Jon’s mind could focus on, _why_? Because. Because even though he’d succeeded in winning Damian back, even though he’d FINALLY woken up and stopped being a goddamn coward, there was still a small—very small part of him that HATED, HATED, _HATED_ that he’d done it in the first place.

It made him sick.

“Habibi, Jon...earth to Jon....?”

“Don’t call me that....” it was a timid murmur and for a split second, Damian’s heart froze in fear. He held his breath.

Jon diverted his eyes, the stench of sadness and self-loathing palpable in the air. “I don’t deserve it Dami...”

Damian blinked up at him, and frowned in concern. “But...Jon what do you---”

Jon returned his gaze to him but his concord blue irises were steely and shining, “...but I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life earning it back.”

Damian’s chest constricted, his throat thickening and eyes stinging, his heart swelling, his stomach bottoming out; _good lord_....

Not trusting that he wouldn’t break like a dam, he surged up and captured Jon’s lips with his.

The act reignited the fire of that afternoon’s previously enjoyable activities but it was evident that it wasn’t going to end in the same way. Damian’s kisses were fraught, lingering and poignant. His bubbling sentiment was pouring out of him and it was apparent that he wasn’t going to rein it in anytime soon. Jon, the evergreen sap drank it up just as eagerly as the other was giving it.

The waterworks followed, regaining some semblance of voice, Damian spoke in-between kisses and tears. By this time he re-positioned himself on Jon’s lap, straddling him and holding his rosy ivory cheeks in his hands, “You’re an utter fool...”*kiss* “...and I love you...” *kiss* “...you’re _my_...” *kiss* “...annoyingly tall...” *kiss* “...angelic fool.” 

_________________

They dozed under the duvet for what seemed hours. Jon had awoken before Damian and simply watched the other boy sleep peacefully. He smiled lovingly...Rao help him he LOVES this handsome, beautiful, amazing boy. _RAO_...

He felt he could stay like this forever...and _then_ he saw that _thing_. Jon glared at it, snug and beaming on HIS Love’s hand. The dreaded piece of shit _ring_...he frowned bitterly... what an _eyesore_.

He couldn’t stand it, it had to go. Slowly, careful not to stir Damian, Jon removed the ring. He laid on his back and kept ever so still in case his feather like touch roused the other, when nothing happened, he slowly inched his way off the bed.

He sat on the edge and paused, knitting his eyebrows together; he laid his elbows on his thighs and bowed his head in the palms of his hands sighing frustratingly.

He’s being petty and ridiculous he knows, glancing at the ring, he examines it with keen eyes, takes in the intricate design of the metalwork and the precision cut blue tinted diamond encapsulated in the middle. He purses his lips and represses a scoff.

“I didn’t want a ring.”

Jon jumped slightly, he turned tentatively, bracing for a reprimand, “ _Uhh_ , D-Dami I....” all he saw was an amused expression on Damian’s face, albeit tamed by recollection.

He sat up against plush pillows as he sighed, stretched out his hand, and Jon bristled but begrudgingly handed over the jewelry.

Damian held it in between his pointer finger and thumb, looking at it disconcertingly, “He...insisted and... _well_. I was only drawn to it because it reminded me of... _you_.”

Jon blinked in surprise but as he watched the heated blush bloom on Damian’s olive tanned skin, it suddenly made since. The blue tint...like him...concord blue eyes.

It made him smugly smirk but only for a second. He then frowned and pouted, “I _still_ hate it.”

Damian snorted, a light smirk on his lips, “Oh I’m _sooo_ sorry! What do you suppose I do with it then?” he said teasingly.

Jon crossed his arms and contemplated all the while Damian left the bed and headed into his bathroom to freshen up.

Jon grins, “It costs money to elope... _pawn it_.”

A sudden crash disrupts Jon’s train of thought and he zooms over to Damian, “Dami! Hey, what happened?” he’s spooked at the scene before him, shattered glass and Damian’s toothpaste covered face. A beat passed between the two teenagers as they staring at each other for widely different reasons.

Then Jon busts up laughing and floats over to clean up the glass and Damian sputters as he rushes to finish his task.

“ _Jon_...”

“Com’on Dami, it’s a great plan! What’s the problem?”

Damian pinches his nose as he sighs exasperatedly, “Other than it’s _STEALING?_ Nothing at all, but...Jon...are you---”

“Don’t even question it. I’m dead set on marrying your ass, even if we don’t use Mr. _Wins-10 plus-Games-Over-Me-_ Cain’s ring, we’re still doing this—I promised you Dami.”

Jon held Damian’s eyes with such intensity that he gulped and diverted his gaze. The idea was temping, so extremely, unbelievably tempting but...under his lashes he glanced at Jon; it’s not to say he necessarily doubted the boy’s resolve, _however_ last time he took Jon’s sincerity for granted he was spurned in the worst possible way.

In Damian’s eyes, Jonathan Samuel Kent was a saint but like those that came before him, they too were human and to be human is to error. Intentionally or not, Jon had proven capable of such an act despite Damian’s initial belief.

He exhaled dejectedly, he really didn’t want to rehash... _that which broke him_... but in the mist of their current situation, he knew they had to talk about it because he suspected whatever it was, it contributed greatly to Jon’s previous rejection.

“Jon. Jon, please stop. Just...come over here.”

Jon paused and looked at Damian confusedly, the other bore into him with a pointed gaze, a voiceless veiled demand, _‘Why did you REALLY break up with me after I told you I loved you?’_

Concord blue irises shook and he swallowed; he knew this conversation would happen—wished it didn’t have to---but he knew it was inevitable.

His broad shoulders shagged and he ran his fingers against the scruff of his neck. He looked up and deflated, felt himself sinking, kneeling in defeat his hands on his knees for support.

“When I was younger...kindergarten, I saw, _well_ I walked in on my folks watching a movie where...a guy was getting beaten. All that blood and pain...it scared me. I didn’t know what it was but I couldn’t look away. Things are fuzzy after that; the next thing I remember is mom tucking me into bed....”

He inhaled and then exhaled his features sullen, lost in memory. “I guess I...locked it up and threw away the key...” a humorless laugh huffed out of Jon’s mouth, “...didn’t know it then but that movie...that scene spawned trauma.”

He licked his lips, “Then...it was during freshmen year and it was Sadie Hawkins---you remember I was bugging you to come but then changed my mind last minute?”

Damian nodded attentively, Jon continued, “...I was eating lunch on the bleachers, waiting for Kathy and that’s...that’s when I saw it, some jocks had cornered this kid. I don’t remember his name, Jack something...they were pushing him, poking and prodding at him...then one of them called him a ‘Fag’ and punched him. I-- _Rao_....”

Jon’s eyes were glistening with angry tears, muscles tightening, and throat shrinking. He clenched his fists so tight they were turning white. “...I wanted---”

He moved his head around, eyes blinded with guilt, “...I could’ve---I could’ve helped him. But what they yelled, the way th—the way they were hurting him, it’s like I was a little kid all over again watching that beating on T.V...”

Head tilted, lips curled in, he sniffed and lifted his eyebrows, “...you know I asked my folks about that movie...it was based on true events about a trans boy...he was murdered for being _different_.”

Chest concaving, tears slid down his face, “...I was frozen in that moment. I just watched as they beat him, watched as he yelled and begged for them to stop...”

Jon leaned against Damian’s drawing desk, “It felt like hours...but it was over in a blink...when I felt composed enough to get up, I realized I peed myself.”

They were silent for a long time. Just sitting and ruminating in the unbearable silence.

“I know what I just said won’t change what I did. I know I have internalized homophobia...at...at the time I repressed it, ignored it and went on living. Then I started developing feelings for you... I knew I loved you as my best friend but then I wanted more...all the while the phobia was snapping and hissing in my ear. I told myself to go for it—take the plunge...I figured, if I forced myself into a relationship, I could kill it once and for all.”

Jon frowned, “...I liked it... _us together_ in that way...but all the while I was being tormented by uncertainty...fear of discovery—what would people think? What would my folks say? I know that’s stupid in retrospect but...that’s how I felt. Then...then you told me you loved me, _really loved me_...I freaked out. Instead of seeing all the possibilities of our future, I just saw the troubles...all the things that could go wrong, all the _hate_...”

He bit the inside of his cheek, “So, I did what any closeted person would do—I broke up and went after the socially acceptable standard.”

In a bittersweet way, it felt nice to admit not only to himself but also to Damian the real reason for causing them both such unnecessary pain.

“Everything is my fault. I know that...” he peeked at Damian and the boy was slouched, arms crossed expression a roulette of varying emotions.

Jon didn’t finish his sentence but he thought it as he watched the other process, _‘...and I know you don’t fully believe or trust my words. I know you won’t marry me.’_

The familiar tightness returned and Jon winced, teeth clenched his heart twisting. He stood up, drained, operating on empty; his eyes skirted around the room, committing it to memory, the feelings, the brief passion they’d shared.

He trudged reluctantly towards Damian’s window and unlatched it, the click making the other snap his head up in alarm.

“J-Jon...?”

Jon looked back towards Damian and smiled apologetically, “I broke us because I’m broken. But...I’ll make it right. I’ll fix things just...” he blushed sheepishly, “...would it be too much to ask...if you could wait for me?”

Before he could utter a word, Jon was gone, leaving in his stead the faint scent of dimmed sunlight.


	2. Parts Unknown

**DO NOT REPOST. DO NOT EDIT. DO NOT REBLOG.**

**Disclaimer** : I DO NOT OWN THE DC FRANCHISE OR ANY AFFILIATES.

 **Disclaimer** : OC Cain Barnett **©** IAmWhelmed

**Copyright © 2020 Antonia G. Reyes All Rights Reserved.**

**Trigger Warning** : Internalized Homophobia, Overall pretty depressive subject matter

^^^^^^^^^^^

**Chapter 2** : Parts Unknown

It made sense. Jon was a super and supers had a strong innate morality and integrity about them. He was honest to a fault, to even remotely suspect he was lying about something as serious as that...it was out of question.

Damian went out to patrol that night, he tried to keep a clear head, tried to maintain a mask of aloofness but it was too distracting, too fresh. He nearly got shot and almost dropped a woman as he rescued her from a burning building.

His father scolded him and he kept silent, nodding along with everything said. Quietly excusing himself, he removed his gear and took a shower to unwind.

That night he lay awake, replaying the image of Jon and the rawness of his truth. It was etched in his head like a stone high relief, vivid and permanent.

However, it was his last words that rung and strummed the strings of Damian’s heart the loudest _‘wait for me...wait for me...wait for me...?’_

Emerald eyes rippled with unshed tears, he meekly scoffs, turning and burying his face in his pillow that still smelled of Jon.

Of course he’d wait.

_________________

**The Next Day...**

Jon stood outside the office of Viana Khan, a LGBTQ+ therapist and psychologist. When he’d gotten home late in the afternoon yesterday, his parents softly demanded why he took off in the manner he did and where he’d been practically that whole day.

Still reeling from his talk with Damian, he couldn’t speak about it for fear of passing out from anxiety.

He muttered that he’d just been out, flying and clearing his head considering all that was currently happening. He could tell they didn’t believe him but took his word and let him go to bed.

The rest of the night he scrolled through the internet searching for a local LGBTQ+ organization and therapist.

He chose the earliest consultation appointment and as he flew into the city of Metropolis his heart hammered ruthlessly against his ribcage.

Looking once more at the bold lettering on the glass door the phobia began to pester, trying to dissuade him from his goal. He shook away the temptation and grabbed the handle, yanked and marched through.

_‘It’s for me. It’s for Damian.’_

_________________

Jon never liked hospitals or dentists...the very title ‘doctor’ invoked a connotation of caustic sterilization. As he sat in Dr. Khan’s office, he bounced his knee, growing agitated by everything in the room. The couch was too soft, does there have to be _WHOLE_ wall dedicated to accomplishment and _WHY_ is there always _ONE_ frame that’s crooked? Jon’s eye twitched, what is it with doctors and low temperature spaces?

“Mr. Kent...?”

Concord blue irises snapped to attention and Jon stood up quickly but regretted it because his legs suddenly went numb, nerve endings shooting sparks up and down his system. Shoving his hands into his back pockets, he nods nervously.

She smiles and walks over to a plush chair across from the couch and gestures for him to sit.

“It’s good to see you this morning. Now, the normal procedure is I evaluate you through a series of questions to gage a sense of what we’re dealing with and then we go from there. Sound good?”

He swallows, “Y-yes that’s fine.”

Looking up from her board, she leaned back comfortably and held Jon’s eyes, features nonchalant, “Let’s begin, first question-- Are you currently dating, sexually active or in a relationship(s)?”

He frowns, “I...was in a, well...I was dating a boy and then I dated a girl but I mean it---”

“Mr. Kent, it’s okay just breathe this is a safe space, no one’s going to judge you here. All I need from you right now is concise answers okay. So let’s start over.”

Some of the tension lessened and he cracked a wobbly smile, “Okay...yeah.”

Dr. Khan grinned, “First question-- Are you currently dating, sexually active or in a relationship(s)?”

“Sexually active, I’m working on it.”

“What is your current partner’s gender?”

“Male”

“What is your current partner’s sexual orientation?”

“Gay”

“How long have you been together or dating?”

Jon smiled, eyes glowing with affection “We’re childhood friends. Dated briefly...” his heart twisted, “...broke up. We just recently reconnected.”

“How significant is this relationship to you?”

He clenched his holed jeans, face set in a serious expression “Extremely important”

“If you have had previous relationships, what were your partner(s)’ gender(s)?”

He bit his inner cheek, “Female...”

“How would you identify your sexual orientation?”

He diverted his gaze, anxiety building, “Gay...probably Bisexual...complicated.”

“Do you have concerns related to your sexual orientation, or do you ever feel awkward about your sexual orientation?”

“Yes, a lot”

“How would you identify your gender identity?”

“Male”

“Do you have concerns related to your gender identity, or do you ever feel awkward about your gender identity?”

“No”

“Is your reason for getting help related to any issues around your sexual orientation or gender identity?”

Jon shrunk under the question, “Yes”

Dr. Khan took a few minutes to write down any notes she had and then she looked back up at Jon, her aura encouraging and empathetic.

“Alright, basic questions out of the way. Now I’m going to ask you more in-depth questions, this is the part of the assessment where you have more freedom to express yourself and why. Think of this as a preliminary impromptu to an actual therapy session.”

Jon nodded once more and Dr. Khan smiles.

“First question--Can you tell me about any particular problems you have faced because of discrimination based on your sexual orientation/gender identity?”

Jon sat back; mind wandering, thinking about any particular instance where he felt discriminated when he was with Damian.

“I can’t really recall any time I felt discriminated against but that’s probably because I was very hyper vigilant. When...I was dating my friend, the one I reconnected with, I was always on edge, always looking over my shoulder.”

“At about what age did you first realize you were gay/bisexual? What has it been like for you after coming out/transitioning to yourself and to others?”

“I think I always kind of knew I wasn’t like everyone else. I knew I felt attraction towards guys but I wasn’t entirely sold on that. However, even when I was with that one girl, I couldn’t get my mind off my friend. I...I haven’t come out per say. I...it was coaxed out of me actually. My brief relationship with my friend was secret and then...we broke up and it wasn’t amicable. His brother and his girlfriend came to me asking about why my friend and I ‘stopped talking’. Aside from them...no one else knows.”

“How open are you about your sexual orientation/gender identity? At work? At school? At home? With new acquaintances?”

“I’m not open.”

“Tell me about your family. How has your sexual orientation/gender identity affected your relationship with your family? Do you have support from your family?”

Jon inhaled and exhaled shakily, cracked his sore neck, “They’re...great actually. I’ve never felt for a minute that they’d reject me...” sadness and guilt began to well up in him and he leans forward, his eyes burning.

“They’re the best parents anyone could have. They love me...but the voice...this thing in my head...” it felt like his mouth was filled with cotton and he struggled to speak...he didn’t want to talk about.

He looked at Dr. Khan, eyes glassy, “Can we move on?”

She nodded respectively, “How are you involved in the lesbian, gay, bi, trans, two-spirit, intersex and/or queer communities?”

“I’m not”

“Do you have concerns about body image? Do you have concerns about aging? Do body image pressures and ageism in the lesbian, gay, bi, trans, two-spirit, intersex and/or queer communities affect you?”

“No”

“HIV is a big concern for a lot of people. Can you tell me in what ways this may be true for you?”

“I’m...not a, well I don’t sleep around. I’ve only been in two brief relationships. I only had...sex with two people and all three of us were virgins. Anyway...I’m not interested in playing around, I only want one person but I have to get better.”

It felt good to say it aloud and in a way it made Jon feel a tad bit more confident in this journey he was embarking on.

“Do you use alcohol and/or other drugs to cope with any of the issues we mentioned? Are your mental health concerns related to any of the issues we mentioned?”

“I don’t use anything. My mental issues are not due to any of the issues mentioned.”

Dr. Khan wrote her final notes, scanned over her clipboard carefully and then returned her gaze to Jon.

“Okay Mr. Kent--”

“Jon. You can call me Jon.”

She smiled, “Jon, you did well and judging by your answers there are definite internal issues to work through.”

Jon nodded, hands laced together.

“I would be more than happy to take you on and because I am part of the LGBTQ+ community and work on behalf of it, consultations are free. We know how challenging seeking guidance can be for us.”

Jon grinned weakly.

“However because you are underage I’m afraid we need parents’ permission to continue if you choose. If not, there are other avenues we can look into; our local community center has a great counselling program and support group meetings.”

He closed his eyes, mulling over the options, trying not to crumble under the inevitability of coming out to his parents. Opening his eyes, he stared at Dr. Khan with determination burning in his stomach.

“Okay. Thank you Dr. Khan.” Jon stood and walked up to shake her hand. Dr. Khan grinned and took his hand, shaking it firmly but gently, she then handed him her card and directed him to the receptionist who gave him a small packet with all the standard information.

_________________

The wooden porch under Jon’s feet creaked, unlocking the screen and main door he stepped through into a quiet house. “Mom? Dad?” he walked down the hall and peered into the living room then the kitchen. No one home. A bit odd but not unusual, maybe they went into town or just to have alone time.

Shrugging he trudged up to his room, collapsed on his bed and allowed himself to drift off.

It was 2:30 pm when he awoke, allowing his body to follow suit, his nose caught the scent of dinner and he hummed, famished and eager to put some food in his empty stomach.

Stretching, he walked down the stairs into the kitchen; his parents were chatting idly and cooking sloppy joes, one of his favorite dishes.

“Hey...”

Clark and Lois turned their attention to their son and brightened although there was a flint of concern. He could also hear it in their skipping heartbeats but he smiled, he wouldn’t leave them in the dark for long.

“Hey kiddo, you ready to eat?”

Jon chuckled, “Always”

They all laughed and sat down at the dining table to feast.

The meal was delicious as always and Jon showed as much by having seconds. In retrospect, perhaps that wasn’t the smartest move given the impending conversation he was going to have with them, but it was too late to worry about that now.

He volunteered to clean-up and when he was done, he found his folks in the living room watching the news. He paused, bracing himself, armoring up and tried to conjure Damian level bravery.

Just the thought of Damian made him gooey inside which was not the emotion he wanted to feel now but he conceded to it regardless.

“Guys...can I talk to you?” he tried to hold back the tiny tremor in his voice. _‘Com’on Jon! Buck up, rip the band-aid off!’_

His parents exchanged a look and beckoned him over, their faces warm and open. He gulped.

Sitting on the footrest, he inhaled and exhaled. “First, I’m really sorry about the other day—taking off like that...”

Clark grinned, shrugging “It’s okay Jonno, just...maybe a little warning next time.”

Jon grinned briefly and then it disappeared. “Will do. So...the second thing I wanted to share...ah, well it’s...”

“Honey it’s okay, take you time.” Lois smiled reassuringly at him, he held her eyes, ignored the sweat building up in his hands and underarms, _‘Say it! Say it!’_

“I’m—I’m gay, _I know_ —I know what you’re going to say, _but what about Iris_ and I did the right thing, I broke up with her. I _mean_ it _wasn’t_ , but---I’ll fix it, just...yeah...I’m gay.”

A beat passed between the three of them, then Clark and Lois blinked and looked at each other.

“Is that all? We thought it was something serious.” Lois smacked Clark in the arm and she turned back to Jon, “Thank you for telling us sweetheart, is what your _father_ meant.” She fixed her husband with a pointed look to which he rapidly nodded in agreement.

Jon blinked, his brain malfunctioning. _‘What?’_

Lois walked over to the kitchen, “Alright does anyone want chocolate chip cookies?” Clark perked, “I do—Jonno you---Jon?”

Jon was frozen but the droplets that splashed on his hand thawed him, Clark wrapped him in his strong arms, kissed his head of curls “Son, mom and I will always love you no matter what.”

He nuzzled deeper into his father and sniffled while trying to speak, “I...I knew...know that but it just...”

His words pattered into incoherent mutterings and Clark just rubbed his back, “I get it. It’s hard to admit stuff like this...believe me _I know_.”

In the back of his mind, Jon knew his dad’s words were true and really, coming out was nothing compared to _‘coming out’_ as an alien from a dead planet.

“I want in on this action!” the two laughed as Jon and Clark wrapped their arms around Lois and they stayed together like that for what seemed forever.

Eventually, the tears abated and Jon relaxed, accepting a plate of warm cookies and milk.

They watched a movie, laughed and eventually called it a night but not before Lois stopped Jon before going to bed.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning okay, sleep tight honey—I love you.” She held the envelop of therapy information and he sighed contently. Nodding he gave her a kiss and retired to his room, a lighter skip in his step.


End file.
